Hormones, still!

I am not sure what it is about this pregnancy compared with my pregnancy with Owen, but my gosh I am down, then down, then up alittle, then back to down again. My patience level is ZILCH. I am not quite sure why I am so bummed most of the time, when in fact there are so many things that I am thankful for in my life.
I had such high expectations for this week, and we did get some things done around the house (still not the bathroom finished though it is close). But I had hoped for quality time with the boys, and with Jason feeling miserable, I ended up feeding off the yuck, and becoming miserable myself (mentally). I felt like this was our last real times with Owen and looking back I feel like a failure for not taking him to do anything he might like to do. I am sure that Owen won't remember, but it doesn't make it right nevertheless.

My mom said the one day that this depression stuff is supposed to come after the baby, so I am hoping that it gets better once Amelia joins this crazy world. Otherwise I may go insane.
So they are napping, and I would like to be vacuuming, but instead I am sitting here listening to the birds chirp like it is spring. Wondering what life will bring over the next year, and I can't get this yucky feeling out of my head that something bad is coming. I hope that I am very wrong.

Anyways my hopes and goals from 2010- working out faded, but the nail biting is conquered for the most part. This year I am still going to crunch numbers/money, as I will not be getting a pay increase, will lose about 1/3 of pay for (hopefully just) 6 weeks, Jason will probably not get paid on his days out anymore, and we are adding a bouncing little expense to it all!
I swear that we are going on vacation this year, this also requires me to work out hard this year (and I can't use a scary beginning of a pregnancy as a way out this time), I want to be a better wife, and the best mom that I can be for 2, and hope that I still manage to be a good friend and family member to others as well.